Abstract:

This research paper examines the expectations and real experiences of relationships between Uzbek mother-in-laws and daughters-in-law, based on a comprehensive qualitative study conducted in Tashkent. The study reveals that the ideology of motherhood contributes to heightened expectations and can lead to complex relationships with the mother-in-law.

A significant finding of the study is that stereotypes and perceptions, formed by society and the family, play a key role in shaping these relationships. Ideally, relationships are marked by love and understanding, with the mother-in-law accepting the daughter-in-law as her own, and vice versa. However, in practice, relationships vary in quality.

Some women had tender, quality relationships, while others experienced hurtful conversations and silence. The study revealed that these ideals and expectations differ from each other. Unlike future mother-in-laws, future daughters-in-law don’t expect their idealized image of the mother-in-law to match reality. On the contrary, many had extremely negative expectations. If at the time of marriage the ideals and representations of girls had hidden heterogeneity, then after marriage it is replaced by actualized heterogeneity. The study showed that the relationship between Uzbek mother-in-laws and daughters-in-law for various reasons is unfavorable. At the same time, the majority for various reasons put the blame on the mother-in-law first. Heterogeneity of expectations is formed by the joint family system. The joint family system contributes to the achievement of a strongly positive ideal, while the tension that women experience arises from the contradictory family positions they occupy in this system. These stereotypes and perceptions can be amplified through various cultural channels, such as literature, performances, and films. This can lead to the formation of an inadequate perception of the mother-in-law among young people, which in turn can exacerbate problems in relationships between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. The complex dynamic of daughters-in-law and mother-in-laws stems from being both strangers and family, necessitating public affection. At the same time, a large responsibility and obligation to accept as a family member is imposed more on daughters-in-law. Thus, Uzbek daughters-in-law are by and large forced to unilaterally adapt to the character of their mother-in-law. The character of daughters-in-law manifests itself after the birth of a child, mainly after several years of living together.

Overall, this work offers important insights for understanding the dynamics of relationships between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in Uzbek culture and underscores the need for further research in this area.

(paper was accepted for CESS2024 Almaty)