Paper Short Abstract:

This paper examines the methodological and ethical challenges of accessing children’s voices in same-sex families in France. In contexts where secrecy and silence shape family dynamics, children navigate complex strategies of disclosure and concealment. Drawing on ethnographic research, I explore how fieldwork can reveal the circulation of speech within families and offer children opportunities to articulate previously unspeakable experiences.

Paper Abstract:

Secrecy and silence are pervasive dimensions in the lives of same-sex families, shaped by their relational dynamics and the social status of homosexuality. Many homosexual individuals have long concealed their sexuality, and this silence can persist in family life. For instance, parents may encourage their children to hide their family structure from peers, or children might choose to reveal it only selectively. These strategies often aim to mitigate the risk of stigma and protect the family.

In my ethnographic research with same-sex parents, children, and their relatives, I encountered different narratives about the same events, revealing the complexity of accessing these voices. At times, I became a privileged interlocutor to whom things were revealed that were otherwise kept secret within the family. This raises ethical questions about how the ethnographer should use or share these confidences, as their presence shapes family dynamics. How can fieldwork prompt questions about the circulation of speech within families? How do children position themselves within these processes? And how can researchers access children’s voices in such contexts?

These methodological challenges require careful consideration of the contexts in which children break the silence and share their experiences. The research process sometimes provides them with an opportunity to emerge from silence and express what was previously unspeakable. This paper will explore how I accessed children’s voices in same-sex families, emphasizing both the roles of secrecy and silence and the ethical and methodological challenges posed by this research.