Paper short abstract:

This paper is part of my ongoing PhD research on the Finnish kink community. I will discuss how affect and personal experience can be conveyed in academic research through creative writing.

Paper long abstract:

In my research on kinky sexuality, I am interested especially in the affect of shame: the ways shame is both a source of fear and loneliness but also a needed ingredient of kink that creates excitement. In this presentation I shall explore the possibilities of using fictional narrative in conveying this affect in an academic context.

In my PhD dissertation I am researching the Finnish kink community and what it means to be kinky in the non-kinky, i.e. vanilla, world. My main research material is query answers. These writings by kinky identified individuals convey some important points and perspectives to the kink phenomenon. In addition to this, I have myself been a kink community member and therefore have experience on the same issues that appear on these writings.

To reach the interface between my research material and my own knowledge, I have decided to create fact based fictional narratives. This way I can also be respectful to the individuals who answered my query, as well as utilize my own experience without turning to autoethnography. Through fiction it is possible to depict scenarios from a kinky everyday life, to engage the reader by making the research topic more tangible, and to convey affect that is attached to the individuals' experiences. In this presentation I will discuss the factors why I turned to creative writing in addition to the query answers and why it is a useful method in my ethnography.