Paper short abstract:

In Papua New Guinea, ideals of companionate marriage are part of modern, Christian nationhood. In this paper, I explore how marriage, love and intimacy shape people's lives, emotions, and expectations in PNG in order to more fully understand the dynamics and intricacies of intimacy and marriage

Paper long abstract:

The recent rise of companionate love as the basis of a 'good' marriage is a global phenomenon, and many have embraced the companionate model of intimacy as the most emotionally satisfying. In Papua New Guinea, gendered Christian personhood and ideals of companionate marriage, which accentuates sexual and emotional intimacy, is part of being a 'modern', Christian nation. For many in PNG, intimacies in marriage have been shaped by experiences of Christianity and interactions with missionaries and colonial agents, as well as with the postcolonial state and other global actors.

For Gogodala, whose marriage practices continue to value marriages that privilege substantive connections between social groups, clans and families as much as individuals, companionate marriage was originally modelled by Anglo-European missionaries who lived with villagers from the 1920s, providing educational, medical and Biblical services. Christian notions of gender and sexuality, then, remain central to perceptions and promises of sexual and emotional intimacy. In this paper. I explore the forms and experiences of marriage and intimacy that shape people's lives, emotions, and expectations: from companionate ideals, legal frameworks and Christian values, to ones that privilege 'hardwork', relationality and continuity of collective as well as personal connections. I also focus on relationships formed on the basis of 'brideprice', as well the more recent desire of younger men and women to look 'for a nice face'. In doing so, I seek to draw out the differing understandings and experiences of intimacy, love and marriage.