Paper short abstract:

Men in relationships with female sex workers are faced with challenges to their masculine identity. Using an ethnographic approach, we show how men construct conflicted masculinities as a coping mechanism against real and perceived challenges at personal and societal levels.

Paper long abstract:

Introduction: Men in relationships with sex workers may negotiate multiple identities. We explore how such men in Kampala construct their masculinity as client, partner, husband and friend.

Methods: Data are based on a year-long (2019) ethnographic engagement with 13 men in non-commercial sexual relationships with known sex workers. Participant observations are complemented with in-depth interviews and focus group discussions

Results: All the men said that they knew they did not have a monopoly of sex with their women, given that it is through sex that the women earned a living. Most of the men were in insecure employment and found themselves in a dilemma because of failing to adequately provide for their families and therefore have no authority to stop their partners from continuing with sex work. Having children cemented relationships, but also fueled the persistence of women in sex work, given the inadequate support from men. Both the men and their partners admitted that sex work created an unwanted label in the relationship and coped by either re-labelling the work as something else and keeping it a secret especially from their children and those who may know them. Some men seemed to target sex workers as long term partners for financial gains, something that the women seemed to embrace if only to lay claim to a sense of normality as someone's wife.

Conclusion: Multiple identities are created by men in relationships with sex workers as they negotiate multiple aspects of the relationship