Paper short abstract:

This paper considers how young women in urban Nigeria use marriage ceremonies to demonstrate cosmopolitan identities. Doing so, I argue that urban femininities do not stand in opposition to rural femininities but necessitate urban young women to know when and how to reveal their rural connections.

Paper long abstract:

In Calabar, a Christian city in southeast Nigeria, couples usually undertake three ceremonies to define their urban matrimony. The court marriage denotes legality in the eyes of the state, the white wedding solemnises the union in front of God, and the traditional marriage finalises an agreement between two families. Despite the tendency for urban couples to demonstrate their cosmopolitan lifestyles by throwing lavish church services and receptions, the traditional marriage remains the most significant part of the extensive nuptial process. Held in the bride's paternal village, the traditional marriage represents the handing over of a daughter from one community to another. Yet it also represents the inclusion of the rural in the urban imaginary, the necessity of village approval and participation in the reproduction of Calabar's social relations.

Focusing on the viewpoints and actions of young women in Calabar, this paper explores how the performance of three marriage ceremonies has become an important strategy for demonstrating urban femininity. Highlighting the tensions between feminine agency and the authority of elders, the paper argues that the urban feminine ideal does not exclude the rural but necessitates a certain knowledge of when and how to engage with village relations. Furthermore, as wealthy families now bring 'the village' to their Calabar compound to conduct traditional marriages, thus allowing urban dignitaries to attend, this paper considers how evolving urban-rural imaginaries create stratifications even within urban feminine ideals.