Paper short abstract:

Men and women are equally victims of sexual violence in the case where one witnesses a spouse’s rape. Victimhood is not the prerogative of the physically violated; psychological violation of the witness also counts. The environment – rural or urban – is key in determining coping strategies.

Paper long abstract:

Often times, the discussion of rape and other forms of sexual violence privileges women as victims to the negligence of men who, though may suffer sexual violence primarily or secondarily, are usually only seen as perpetrators. This work by psychoanalyzing the characters in the film, Femi Kayode's Tango with Me, establishes that men are also victims of rape. Produced and directed by Mahmood Ali-Balogun, the film explores the trauma of being raped, watching one's spouse raped and the difficulty of accepting the resultant pregnancy. Even though the wife receives the physical impact/violence, the husband is seen as an equal victim of the rape. The man and woman experience differing degrees of trauma requiring different coping strategies ranging from psychotherapy/professional counselling to validation of manhood, support from loved ones, personal resolve to accept self, and recourse to faith in a higher power. Much of the difficulty experienced by the couple arises from society's disposition to rape: the culture of silence and stigmatization of victims. Though set in the city, the characters' behavioural traits and reactions to rape are more rural than urban, even while they reach out for urban remedies. Also, traditional gender roles, a carryover from rural consciousness, account for the recovery rate in the male and female victims: the sustained perception of females as victims has psychologically conditioned them to recover faster than their male counterparts from the trauma of rape. The rural and urban spaces each provide elements that both make and mar the couple's journey to recovery.