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Paper short abstract:

Thousands of Ugandan women temporarily migrate to the Middle East in search of jobs in order to support themselves and their families. Several opt out of marriage or postpone it. Children are the major reason for this choice. Young mothers are pacing marriage towards their most desired futures.

Paper long abstract:

“Motherhood is not the problem, marriage is!” I will delve into experiences of young Ugandan women who opt to temporarily migrate to the Middle East in search of jobs in order to support their families, particularly, their children. In the last decade, young people have been migrating to the Middle East in search of jobs and better futures. Social media and other channels are filled with horror stories about racism, physical and sexual violence, mistreatment and abuse faced by Ugandan labour migrants. Amidst all this, however, more and more young women mobilise everything they have in order to get on that flight towards a hoped-for future. I have encountered several women who opt out of marriage or are running away from bad marriages. But there are also women who wish to postpone or rather, pace marriage by focusing on themselves, “stabilizing”, “settling” or “working” on themselves before they can commit to a marriage or stable partnership. For those who already have children, their major reason for choosing to work as maids in the middle East, is so they can support their children whose fathers have abandoned them; motherhood is not the problem. This paper presents an ethnographic study of young Ugandan women who choose self-love and motherhood while pacing marriage towards their most desired futures. These women’s agency pushes them to make choices that will allow them to be recognized, not for their marital status, but for other kinds of individualities including independence, breadwinners, providers, homeowners and mothers.