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Contribution short abstract

Becoming a single parent by choice reshaped my assumptions about “normal” academic life. Reflecting on a short-term fellowship in Japan with my son, I explore the co-constitutive and generative aspects of academic mobility, care, and family and institutional narratives of “family-friendly” academia.

Contribution long abstract

I have always been fiercely independent, so it wasn't surprising to friends and relatives when I became a single parent by choice, having my son in 2022 via an anonymous donor. I naively assumed that he would simply slot into my existing life and routines. I did not anticipate how profoundly motherhood would require me to rethink what “normal” meant, both personally and professionally. While I have benefited from my institution's family-friendly policies, I have come to realise these frameworks continue to assume that care and research are separate domains to be managed rather than co-constitutive aspects of parenting in academia. This tension became particularly acute when I was awarded a prestigious short-term fellowship in Japan in spring 2025. Although professionally exciting, the fellowship brought with it significant emotional and logistical strain. Our time in Japan was academically productive, but emotionally demanding for both of us, further dismantling my earlier, idealised assumptions about the compatibility of my work and solo motherhood that made me doubt my place in academia. However, in this roundtable, I want to revisit our time in Japan specifically through the eyes of my son, his moments of learning, self-discovery and adaptation, and explore the generative dimensions my academic mobility has had on our family unit as well as for my own career optimism. Collectively, I want to reflect on the lived experiences of many academic families and explore, to what degree do they reflect or contrast the institutionalised narratives and policy-oriented language of "family friendly" academia.