Send message to Author

Paper short abstract

Indirect communication of feelings of irritation within affinal relationships as a means of simultaneously managing emotions and relationships.

Paper long abstract

This paper examines the expression of emotional experiences of irritation in everyday interactions. Focusing on affinal relationships in Harare, Zimbabwe, I examine how irritation expression is framed through culturally familiar forms of prayer, song and jokes among Shona people. Rather than viewing irritation as a personal experience to be suppressed or as fuel for confrontation, I draw on ethnographic observations and interview data to understand how individuals route complaints to God and to a live audience through allusive communication. The indirect expression of irritation forms a legitimate channel for protest against perceived injustice, while advancing moral values of commitment to respect, restraint, and communal accountability alongside Christian ideals of forgiveness and self‑control. Symbolically, these performances appeal to a metaphysical realm for intervention, thereby portraying human conflict and cooperation as subjects to higher-order evaluation. At an experiential level, the acts of praying, singing or joking reframe irritating behaviours, enabling reinterpretation that can produce more positive feelings. I aim to demonstrate that the expression of irritation, when carried through doing bembera, is not merely a coping mechanism; it actively regulates relationships, constitutes Shona ethical personhood, and provides socially sanctioned pathways for critique within the constraints of kinship.