Paper short abstract:

In this paper findings from organ donation events in Germany are presented. It will be discussed, how these events react to the particular grief, hope and worry of donor kin about the living remains of their loved ones. The focus is laid on facilitated meetings with (proxy) organ recipients.

Paper long abstract:

This paper will present findings from fieldwork in Germany at organ donation events and from interviews with those involved. It will trace, how involved institutions have reacted to particular needs of the next of kin of organ donors, or "donor kin". The death of organ donors is a temporally fragmented dying, beginning with the moment of the first brain death diagnosis, the interim period of waiting for the organ removal and a time for the funeral. (Sharp 2006; Lock 2002) It can also be experienced by next of kin as physically fragmented dying. (Kalitzkus 2004) The loved one's dying is followed by a period of hoping that the transplanted organs will live as long as possible. Parents often contact the coordinating institution trying to find out more about recipients and whether they are handling their child's organ well. Some report renewed grief when they learn that an organ, especially the heart, has been rejected by the recipient body or that the recipient has died. This continued worry and care remains absent in public debates on organ donation and in state campaigns, but is central at events where donor kin meet (unrelated) organ recipients and involved health care professionals. These proxy meetings have become an established part in grief counselling for donor kin, that have influence on how death is understood and mourning enacted.