Paper short abstract:

With increasing platform given to demi, grey and asexual people, those with short-term loss of sex-drive and growing numbers of non-monogamous/ non-exclusive sexual relationships, is it time to entirely divorce the acts and concepts sex, sensuality, romance and exclusivity from each other?

Paper long abstract:

With increasing platform given to demi, grey and asexual people, those with short-term loss of sex-drive and growing numbers of non-monogamous/ non-exclusive sexual relationships, is it time to entirely divorce the acts and concepts sex, sensuality, romance and exclusivity from each other?

In the framework of compulsory monogamy, predominate across the West, sexual and sensual bodily contact is expected to be present and exclusively within the sexual-romantic relationship whose aim is to travel up the 'relationship escalator' towards a narrowly defined category of commitment. When this sexual and sensual bodily contact is not present there is judged to be a problem with that relationship: its' compatibility, its' health, its' potential for longevity, and often its' potential to produce children. However, not only does sexual and sensual bodily contact not have to be present within a lifelong romantic connection but it can also thrive and be health outside of it with a multitude of people.

The current framework of sexual contact leaves those without sexual desire within realms of shame or oddity, much like those that do not feel the need for sexual exclusivity even in spaces of sex positivity which retrain the uninterrogated connection between sex and commitment.

How can we begin to separate these concepts and take seriously the experiences of these 'others'? And what other practices or concepts are brought into question through this separation?