Paper short abstract:

Based on my resent research in Croatia, the paper will offer a short ethnography of parenting in high-conflict divorces.

Paper long abstract:

Approximately one third of all the divorces (Turkat 1997), the number of which is rising in most of the Western countries, are defined as high-conflict divorces. They are characterized by lack of communication between the divorced parents (or those undergoing the process of divorce), by child visitation interference and by different ways of emotional and psychological manipulation of children with the view of turning them against the other parent.

According to my recent research of conflict divorces in Croatia, there is almost no institutional help, even though it exists 'on paper', for such parents and their children.

The related institutions claim that the parents themselves are to blame, because they are 'irresponsible', 'incompetent', they 'egoistically place their needs before the needs of children', and frequently send them to parental education. Parents, on the other hand, who are the victims of child visitation interference and child manipulation feel disempowered, helpless, bitter and betrayed. Instead of continuing their parental roles, they frequently become 'distant relatives' to their own children.

The aim of this paper is to analyze this clash between institutions, experts and parents themselves in view of what responsible and effective parenting is.