Paper short abstract:

This paper focuses on the lack of ‘trained’ parental expertise and the consequent anxieties as they emerged in narratives of Chilean-born adoptees and their Italian adoptive parents three decades after the adoption.

Paper long abstract:

This contribution offers a counter-example of the panel's theme by focussing on the lack of parental preparation in several cases of international adoption occurred between the 1970s and 1980s. When Sardinian childless couples embarked on the adoption of children from Chile, in the pre-Hague convention era, most of them had little to no formal preparation to child rearing. They also had no training of any kind to prepare them to face the issues that adopting transnationally inevitably implies. This paper focuses on the lack of 'trained' parental expertise and the consequent anxieties as they emerged in narratives of adoptees and adoptive parents three decades after the adoption.

The absence of a meaningful institutional support in what are peripheral settings contributed to a DIY approach in dealing with emotional crises. Adopted children and their Sardinian parents evoke past memories of the adoptees' childhood, considering the role played by parents in moments of crisis. While some adoptees express positive opinions of their adoptive parents' choices, some others voice their disapproval or openly express their resentments for what they believe were faulty judgements. Adoptive parents think back and confirm, or regret their choices. The intense emotional experience transpiring from the adoption narratives reveals unresolved conflicts and vehicles vibrant anxiety, in both adoptive parents as well as adoptees.

Is there a 'good' adoptive parent? Can 'good parenting' ever be learned? When they become parents themselves, adoptees realise they have more tools than their own parents to deal with parental uncertainty.