Paper short abstract:

The sharing of essential experiences, eg hunger or violence, while growing up is an important means to create relatedness among the Damara and Nama of Namibia. Recent European research shows that shared experiences are equally important for the creation of kinship bonds within recombinant families.

Paper long abstract:

Over the course of a century, meaning and practice of kinship among the Damara and Nama people of Northwest Namibia have been heavily altered by colonial powers. For a number of historic-demographic reasons, half-siblings are very common and full-siblings are rare. Most women (and men) have consecutively children with four, five or even more different partners. Male and female parallel cousins are also classified as brothers and sisters. The total amount of people an individual can refer to as "brothers" and "sisters" is consequently quite large. For the individual it is not possible to relate to all of these brothers and sisters in an emotional rich, supporting and trusting manner. But whom to relate to and whom to avoid or ignore? There is no explicit cultural rule to select certain kinds of siblings (e.g. the eldest brother or sister), nor is the mother always the connecting focal point. The concept of "growing up together", kai //are, is of utmost relevance for creating an individual's network of relatedness. Kai //are encompasses different dimensions of relatedness. Sharing emotional laden experiences, such as hunger and violence, are among the most important of these.

Although the emergence of recombinant or patchwork families in Western Europe clearly differs form the Namibian situation there are nevertheless some interesting parallels. Marilyn Strathern (2005) recently observed that recombinant families and families based on new reproductive technology offer a range of potential kinship ties from which people actively choose. Similar to the Namibian findings above one may ask who is and who is not chosen. As psychological research indicates shared experiences are fundamental for the creation of kinship bonds within recombinant families, especially among step-siblings.