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Contribution long abstract

Through this contribution, I reflect on my experiences of being involved in anti-caste work in Bengaluru, India, and Brighton, United Kingdom as a student belonging to an oppressor caste. I discuss the recurring bouts of jealousy I attend to, provoked by reasons such as witnessing my fellow oppressor caste peers enjoy deep family and social ties and their associated class benefits or grieving my lack of access to Ambedkarite communities. As these tensions are not—and perhaps, should not be—at the forefront of anti-caste discourse, I find myself dwelling on the loneliness of the choices I have made. Examining these feelings from a critical lens, I consider how they may stem from “hatred in the belly” (Ambedkar Age Collective, 2016) and, further, how “bad feelings” such as jealousy and loneliness can respond to the shared responsibility of radicality (Samos, 2025) in the contemporary landscape.