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Paper short abstract:

This paper looks at the changing son-centred intergenerational contract within more affluent Indian families, to examine the changing role of daughters as old age support systems for parents, and the consequences of such shifts on daughters' abilities to manage multiple conflicting responsibilities.

Paper long abstract:

In recent years, the idea of the “Indian joint family”, has given way to newer and more “modified” nuclear forms of family living arrangements, especially in India’s cities. Such changes have brought into question the traditional role of sons as old age support systems for parents. A subsequent “modernization” of the intergenerational contract, some argue, has resulted in “a reduction in familial generational and gender hierarchies”. Based on in-depth interviews conducted with over 75 daughters and parents belonging to higher income families in Delhi-NCR, this paper argues that while changing filial imperatives and social norms have indeed altered inter-generational obligations for sons and daughters, such change is far from disruptive. Although daughters are increasingly being viewed as a “more dependable” support system for parents, especially among parents from higher income families who primarily expect care in the form of emotional support, such preference is intricately tied to feminine stereotypes of nurturing and caring daughters, which re-essentialize and valorise caregiving as gendered kin work. Moreover, conceptions of “good daughterhood” emerging from these trends reflect specific gendered forms of reciprocity, rooted in gratitude and obligation towards parents, which unfairly penalize “forever daughters” with the “double burden” of simultaneous caretaking in their natal and marital homes, while retaining pre-existing patriarchal gendered roles within and outside the home. Consequently, daughters’ desires to care for their parents, and frequent failures to do so in the face of systemic challenges, I argue, operates as a form of “cruel optimism”, reaffirming their status as “Paraya Dhan”.