Contribution short abstract:

Weaving together my lived experiences with theoretical frameworks as Latina scholar in the UK, I argue that the issue is not that marginalised scholars like myself aren't "enough" for Western academia; rather, European institutions themselves are "not enough" in embracing decolonial practices

Contribution long abstract:

This paper explores the complexities of my migrant and academic journey, where dichotomies, power relationships, positionalities, vulnerabilities, and hopes intertwine. As an early career researcher and a Latina scholar working on decolonisation, I grapple with the inherent contradiction of pursuing decolonial work within Western academic institutions. Through a series of letters to myself, autoethnographic and autotheoretical accounts, I reflect on my journey as a Latin American scholar in UK higher education, weaving together my lived experiences with theoretical frameworks from sociology, decoloniality, feminism, and development studies.

The letter format enables a dialogue between multiple theoretical frameworks and deeply personal experiences of academic transition, serving not only as personal testimony but as theoretical interventions that challenge traditional academic ways of knowing, exploring the emotional landscape of existing between institutional and geographical borders – one marked by fear, isolation, and a persistent feeling of "not being enough" that haunts ECR, migrant and racialised scholars.

By acknowledging privilege and vulnerability within academia, I suggest that discussing these aspects, while uncomfortable, can create shared spaces to acknowledge collective pain and work towards healing and care. I advocate a shift from a language of power and victimhood around vulnerability to minimising our collective burdens through constructive anger, care and support, contributing to the dismantling of hierarchical systems of knowledge production and collective care. Ultimately, I argue that it's not that racialised migrant scholars are not 'enough' for Western academia, but rather that European institutions themselves are failing to truly embrace and realise their decolonial aspirations.