Paper short abstract:

The ethnographer’s journey is about awareness of ‘I’ end and ‘you’ begin. In the this journey we encounter ‘sticky moments of dissonance and distortions not when it is‘me/not me’ and the space ‘in-between’ (Bion, 1961). This paper will explore the reflective space of writing our ‘selves’ post-fieldwork.

Paper long abstract:

Ethnography is based on a narrative account of 'sticky moments', ethnographical encounters layered meanings (Freud, 1930). This paper will explore the notion of 'sticky moments' that are enacted in a timeless place and managed in containment within reflective space. Through the fieldwork an ethnographer learns to explore the 'potential space' of where she ends and the informant begins (Winnicott 1953). This paper will explain how a single individual may not be able represent the group but can come to represent the space between me and not me in the ethnography. The threat to the relationship occurs through the intrusion of the outside world and engaging with the knowledge of 'the third' could potentially distort the fantasy of the relationship. Maybe there is something in Freud's (1927) notion of the illusion of the ''oceanic feeling' of wholeness. A state of helplessness and longing to return to the field site where over time the boundary between self and other becomes blurred, or distorted (Strachey, 2001). It takes time for the ethnographer to recover their sense of self. For a return often signals an alienation and a lack of protection. The oceanic feeling offered a connection to others through cultural practices a path of self-recovery through our work as anthropologists. The need connection between ourselves is explained by Nussbaum (2003), who argues that "true self-development arises from highly particular transactions that constitute love between two imperfect people" (p. 103).